Related opening picture.

I think you all have heard of the loltastic Nanoha review that have triggered rage and “what’s the fucking point?” reaction. One things that the average, and sane, anime fan have learnt throught the years is that ANN, especially the critics, HATES EVERYTHING. Ok, on a more accurate description, it HATES everything that include bishoujos, moé, is not by Miyazaki or is not trying to be Deep, Meaningful and Enlightening. Consequently, most of the reviews should be taken with a lot of caution and a cool head, because the odds that you’d get trolled are high.

I live in a country that is pretty schyzophrenic in regards of entertainment.
On one hand, it is like the artists here are trying to achieve some kind of ideal that would set them higher than the common man. The common man, by appreciating this kind of artist, hopes to elevate himself above the average beer-swallowing Louis and be a better man of better taste. Let’s say it doesn’t really work that way.
On the other hand, people here are happy to swallow the lastest crap coming from the galaxy of dumpster TV, this means the local clones of american Idol, Survivor, etc..

Enough about my country and me. What do I feel is wrong with this review?

Before I get to it, here a quote from IRC

< @Iie-Kyo> anime news network is starting to sound like kotaku
< @Iie-Kyo> the part that disgusts me about ANN’s “reviews” is the fact that theres this large group of fanfags that back these writers up
< @Iie-Kyo> on top of that they keep picking those who hate the genre they’re reviewing
< @Iie-Kyo> i mean what the fuck?
< @Iie-Kyo> i want to know if my moe-induced fanservicu pantsu anime with tig ol bitties is good from the view of someone who has tastes similar to mine
< @Iie-Kyo> not from someone who loves mindfucks and “amazingly deep” anime

In an idealistic, perfect world, reviewers and critics should be reviewing in a genre they actually likes. By “liking”, I mean, genuinely like mahou shoujo, mecha, shounen, slice-of-life, whatever. Not only this reviewer should love the genre, but also know why it worked for him, and how the anime he is reviewing is doing it right or wrong, and why.

Moreover, the ideal reviewer will be one who have not forgotten where he started and why.
Where? In the grass, just like the common man.
Why? Because he fucking loved it and wanted to show people why he loves it.
The means? The anime he watched in his past, the books he have read, the movies and series he have seen, his education as a whole.

However, the reviewers we had the displeasure to come across forgot where they started. As a result, the reviewers would consider the common anime fan as lower-than-dirt, pig disgusting, etc… But, you know what? The reviewers are also anime fans, or should be, otherwise they should be working somewhere in a gas station, in a corn field or in the stock market.

The why tend to be lost. Instead, most of the reviewers seems to use their articles as a playground for their own brand of pseudo-intellectual masturbation. Nothing more than a way to tell people, “I am writing a review and I am showing off my intellectual superiority by using as much purple prose and elaborate derogatory terms as possible. Now, bow down, miserable peon.”

The means. Usually, education and culture are at best used as a mean to enrich an article and bring new perspectives on the reviewed media. Thus, it is always interesting and rewarding to read Crusader’s comparison between warfare in Sunrise mecha shows and Clausewitz (as often pointed up by him, the former usually pales in the light of the latter, this is more true when you are well read on the subject). It is as rewarding as reading Ascaloth or OwenS.

Now, onto another thing that can bug people when it comes to the reviewers, the “professional” tag.
IMO, it have become an excuse for anything. It seems to give the critic some superior authority that shall not be never questioned. This is a farce. I know people who can do it better without being insulting to a part of the fan population or hurling snide remarks to them.
Don’t believe it? Compare ANN’s Nanoha review to Nihon Review’s Nanoha review. Sorrow-K is certainly not a professional, but the way he word things, point out the flaws and the merits of the show would make the reader think, “He have a point.”
He accomplish it without displaying outright ignorance or throw snide comments against a genre that he would delibaretly antagonize (be reassured, he does not do that, I know someone else who does it.)

Another thing about the ANN review

Tsuzuki’s thinly-disguised S&M fantasies

Hum, sorry? Are we really reading a review by a professional?
Is throwing ad hominem unfounded accusations encouraged by the profession? Should we project someone’s person and our opinion on him over his work? Should I downplay the merits of H.P Lovecraft’s stories and universe because he is said to be a racist and an anti-Semite? Should I turn down Hellsing and Hellsing Ultimate because people are suspecting Kouta Hirano to be a closet nazi? Is it what it meant to be professional? I don’t think so.

About “Different opinions for the sake of objectivity” thrown by the ANN staff, I call it bullshit and farce. Objectivity is so very rare, so very hard to accomplish that managing to achieve it would be the first step on the path to Nirvana, just like how common sense in this world is almost a super power.

One thing that professional ANIME critics should remember, they will NEVER win Pulitzer or Nobel. So, stop the bullshit.

On the end, what does matter the most? Your own opinion, guys. So you want to watch the magical girl show and see if you can like it? Watch it to the end, and make your own opinion. You are still unsure if you want to check it? Read not ONE but about five even ten reviews, then decide by yourself if you will watch it or not. You can love or dislike a genre; but as long as you keep an open mind and watch and appreciate a show on its own merits, it is what it does to you that count the most.

Bu the way, I liked Nanoha, I found a world and an universe that is worth to expand, however, I think 7Arcs need a better quality check team and a GOOD composer, like Yuki Kajiura.
Moreover, I think that StrikerS have missed the opportunity to fully mature the genre, have not managed its large cast so well and suffered from awkward pacing.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008 at 11:00 pm and is filed under Anime, Uncategorized.You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.