More than TVTropes, Badass of the Week is my favorite time sinker when it comes to… waste my time reading.
Just to make sure you are not mistaken. The fictional badasses featured in this site are few and very deeply rooted in pop culture (Godzilla, Indiana Jones, Darth Vader Kefka…), and none of them are from anime. I’d like to think that Ben would hate it if the entirety of /a/ and /m/ email him about Sasuke or Kamina being end-all be-all parangons of badassitude. Myself, I’d be very annoyed if that happened. SaiGAR was ugly enough, BoTW need not to be spoiled with that.
What make Badass of the Week a badass read are the hilarious descriptions of the featured weekly badass.
Here a few samples
On the Viking of Stanford Bridge
:
Standing astride the bridge was one man. A giant Norse berserker silently surveyed the Saxon army, firmly clutching a massive double-bladed Greataxe in his weathered, calloused hands. A lone Viking hero granted permission by his King to die honorably in combat, tasked with defending the narrow bridge and buying time for his brethren to reorganize. His face was concealed by an imposing horned helm – metal plates reinforcing a mask constructed from the bleached bone remains of a fearsome animal skull, his wild eyes peering through the darkness like searing orbs of white-hot flame. A living demon, sent forth from the darkest recesses of Hell itself to exact brutal vengeance on any mortal brave or foolish enough to cross him, defying anyone with more balls than sense to test his wrath.
The full might of the Anglo-Saxon army charged the bridge, determined to extricate this colossal beast from his post through the sheer weight of their numbers, but the narrow walkway above the raging waters of the River Derwent was only wide enough for four men to stand abreast, and its guardian was unwavering in his resolve. The first rank of fighting men crashed full-speed into the Norseman like a school bus full of insolent teenagers being hurled face-first into a wall of unflinching spikes.
About Simo Häyhä
In the winter of 1939, the Soviet Union was dicks. Russian Premier Josef Stalin thought it would be really fucking hilarious if he all of a sudden sent like two million of his dudes over to nearby Finland to start kicking everyone’s asses and seizing whatever land he could get his borsch-covered hands on, while simultaneously kicking puppies and shouting profanities at inanimate objects in a vodka-and-caviar induced roid rage. While this may have been a laugh riot for Stalin and his numbnuts cronies, the Finnish people obviously were a little unhappy with the prospect of having all their cross-country skis, Winter Olympics gold medals and salmon fishing boats captured by a rampaging horde of godless commie bastards, so they decided to open an extra-large can of whoop-ass and give the Russkies the ballsack kicking they were apparently looking for.
Now when you think of Finland, the phrase “military powerhouse” isn’t exactly the first thing that pops into your head. Likewise, when you looked at Simo Häyhä, a slight-framed Finnish farmer who didn’t stand an inch over five feet tall, you also probably didn’t think “total fucking unstoppable badass”.
Let’s just say, you have over five years of weekly articles, enough to sink your time if you just caught the wagon. And it is well worth it.
Why do I write about it?
Well, the webmaster just released a book. I am considering whether I should buy it. Perhaps as a christmas gift? ;3
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